


To Varying Degrees

by RuminantMonk



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Dialogue, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 23:47:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3915214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuminantMonk/pseuds/RuminantMonk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An "outtake" from Book 4.  Occurs after Korra fails to arrive in Republic City.  A conversation between Asami and Mako about the nature of loving (and desiring) the Avatar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Varying Degrees

They had all been excited for Korra’s arrival (to varying degrees). Meelo couldn’t stay still and Ikki wasn’t any better.  And though Mako was generally good at holding his neutral face, Asami could see anticipation tugging ever-so-slightly at the edges of his normally impassive mouth.

Asami herself, well … there weren’t any words, but there was a tingling sensation growing from the pit of her stomach— tiny, effervescent bubbles forming and popping in succession, then floating up, up, high until it all bloomed warm in her chest.

And so, it was a rather awkward moment when the Southern Water Tribe steamship pulled up to the dock and the only one to disembark was Tonraq. It was an even more awkward moment when Tenzin informed the Avatar’s father that his daughter, in fact, was not and had not been in Republic City like he had been led to believe. The awkwardness only continued from there when the welcoming crew was left to disband and go their separate ways, each of them confused, worried, and most of all, disappointed.

“Come on,” Asami said, placing a hand on Mako’s shoulder. “Let’s get a drink. I’ll drive.”

 

A few rounds of top shelf liquor did just the trick—Asami could feel the flush spreading hot on her cheeks, echoing the pleasant buzz swimming around in her head. 

She and Mako had long blown past the catching-up pleasantries of career smalltalk, their tongues loosened and plied by sake, soju, and scotch. Before they knew it, Mako was bitching about feeling useless and out-of-touch: cut off from his brother, his letters to Korra met with silence, and even removed from a job that once gave him a sense of purpose.  Asami herself admitted that she leaned on work like a crutch, filling her hours with schematics, prototypes, and patents so she wouldn’t have a moment of pause to remember just how lonely she was.  Those quiet moments, she told him, were unbearable.

Just a second ago after topping off her fifth drink, she’d confessed to Mako her loneliest epiphany: that she was probably head-over-heels in love with Korra.  Korra, the missing and long-suffering Avatar.  Korra, her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.  He took it well, even seemed to understand (how could he not?), even marveled at how she’d managed to keep that to herself for so long (something he'd never been good at). 

Drunk as she was, Asami couldn’t find the heart to speculate on Korra’s feelings—it was inappropriate in so many ways, to ask that of Mako (he was stoic, not insensitive), to ask that of _Korra_ (she wasn’t invincible, she was hurting).

So, instead, the two miserable ex-lovers commiserated on the nature of loving the Avatar … and that delicate matter of how much they both missed her (to varying degrees):

 

“Is it fucked up that I fell in love with her when I thought she was dying?"

_Pale elbows propped on the bar, elegant fingers combing back through her messy black hair._

“No.  The same thing happened to me when Tarrlok kidnapped her."

_He takes a slow sip from his crystal tumbler, thinking it will mask his wistful tone._

“Oh. Yeah.  When she’s not around, the Avatar leaves behind a cold, cold void."

“Yeah and we poor assholes are left to deal with the fact that we took her for granted."

_A beat. She doesn’t quite agree. But—_

“She’s the most vibrant person I’ve ever met.  The energy she carries inside of her …"

_Their eyes meet, green and gold, both caught in nostalgia, not quite looking at each other, but connecting nonetheless._

“It’s something that you didn’t even know you missed until it’s gone."

“Yes!  Yes, exactly.  Like stepping into a hot bath on a cold day.  When you get out, the air feels even colder than when you got in."

_The way her white teeth nibble at the blood red of her lips suggests she might be feeling that same chill now.  He wants to laugh at the desire that colors her every expression, not to be cruel, but to say he understands._

“Exactly.  Maybe it’s an Avatar thing.  I wonder if Aang had the same problem with having to constantly fend off people throwing themselves at him."

“Please, Katara would have done the fending for him.  Plus, I’ve seen pictures of Aang. He did  _not_ look like Korra is all I’ll say."

_She’s in rare form tonight._

“That is a very good point."

_A heavy pause._

“… are you still in love with her?"

“Does it matter?"

_They both know the answer.  A pause.  Then another._

“So, how is she in bed?"

“Asami, are you fucking kidding me—"

_He turns to stare at her. She’s tracing the rim of her glass with the tip of her finger._

“Relax, I’m just teasing."

_A pause._

“But seriously.  I can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to run my fingers through her hair."

_She knows she’s pushing—she doesn’t care.  He pushes back._

“It is very soft, I’ll give you that.  Not as soft as your hair, though."

“Well, nobody has hair as soft as mine."

“Wu might give you a run for your money."  

“Are you saying you’ve caressed his royal coif?"

_A red smirk. Teasing. Many are weak to this side of her. He wants to tell her that the Avatar’s inhuman strength does not discount human weakness, but he thinks she will find this out herself one day (and what a sweet day that will be, for both of them)._

“Shut up.  I’m saying he's more pampered than you and Ginger combined."

_For now, he can tease back. Though thoroughly intoxicated, they have both always been quick on the uptake._

“Mm, nice save.  … Okay, but really—how is Korra?  Legendary?"

“Asami, for the love of—you want me to paint you a picture?"

 _Curiosity coated coy. A tactic that normally gets results. She wonders if it would work on_ her _, but it hurts too much to think about, maybe some day she will try (and what a sweet day that will be)._

“No, I want you to tell me in words."

_Persistent. He digs deep into a well of memory filled with smells, touches, spirit._

“Okay, well … How do I put this.  Have you seen her earthbend?"

“Yes."

“Have you seen her airbend?"

“Yes."

“Have you seen her firebend?"

“Yes." 

“Have you seen her waterbend?"

“Yes."

“And have you seen her spar?"

“Yes."

“Then you already know."

“Oh. ...  _fuck_.  Point taken."

_Laughter._

“Ask me any more questions about my long-dead sex life and I’ll put you in handcuffs, I swear."

_A pregnant pause._

"… is that something you two did?"

“Asami!"


End file.
